Musing on the year that's about to end.
Entered PSID and experienced depression for the first time. Halfway through the basic course/majors (2 terms) I felt like I wasn't at the right place, and complained a lot. Painstakingly planned and thought a lot about moving to New York and dropping my scholarship to get a "better education abroad". Thankfully I had my dad, mom, friends and their moms to turn to. I'm thankful for having such insightful people in my life who take time to help me out.
I'm very thankful that God has never let me down when it comes to school and grades. I'm quite lucky that whenever I feel like I'm going sideways with a certain subject, I can always turn to Him to help me get through it (that and studying/working hard of course). I'm not the most ideal student. I procrastinate, I don't study ahead and sometimes I'm lazy. But despite all the bad habits I've developed through the years, He has made me strong enough to endure days of sleep deprivation, being focused even when I'm running on caffeine and power naps in the car (5 to 20-minute shut-eyes). God gives me the strength to keep my cool while working with others under pressure. He reminds me to patient with people, like how my parents are with me :)
Thankful for all the friends I've gained during my first few months in PSID. For being patient enough to teach me the things I've missed and have forgotten to study up on cos of late night rehearsals and performances in the other school (CSB) for choir, and cos of editing loads of photos for clients.
I owe a lot to my father for making me realize that you can't just trust anyone. It's hard to find real friends who stick with you even through shitty times. Life isn’t always a party. Most people befriend you and then take part of the gaiety but when you’re caught up in a serious predicament, they’re never around.
This year I realized that although it’s good to always try to see the good in people, nobody is perfect and some people will be immature and will forever try to bring others down. No matter how much you try to be good to people, you should never expect them to do the same thing to you. You can’t force people to always be positive, their attitudes & outlook in life are influenced by their upbringing. You’re in no position to judge them cos of that.
I know I'm blessed to have tons of friends, but I'm even more blessed to have a handful that I can count on.
For laughing at my jokes, for not being too quick to judge, for being patient, for listening to me, helping me strengthen my faith in God + myself, and for simply being there.THANK YOU. True friends are one in a million. I can't wait til we all get together so we can look back and laugh about everything we've been through!
Coro San Benildo choir mates
Gotta admit, sometimes I question why I have to endure the super late nights and weekend performances. I mean, I wasn't forced to join Coro. I could move to another org just to get that 1 extra-curricular activity per term requirement for my scholarship. Choir sure does rob me off my free time for school work/family but every time I get this feeling, all I have to do is to remind myself that with the hard work we pour into each performance and to making our group sound better, we share a passion that not a lot of people can understand. The bond that we all share is just so special. In Coro, I can let my hair down and not worry about my mistakes when it comes to performing, or even the mistakes I commit as a person. I appreciate the care and understanding you guys have given me. I know I'm always missing out on stuff and I'm thankful that you guys know and understand what I have to deal with outside of choir. Coro has made me grow so much as a performer. You guys are just so down-to-earth and real. Even if I've we've only known each other for about 3 years, I feel like I've built meaningful friendships with most of you... Free vocal training every week, good company, good memories. What more can I ask for? :)
Best parents in the world. Strict, but your rules make sense. You guys set good examples. We're scared to fail because you both raised me, Riz and Joey so well. Thank you for reminding me that money isn't everything. We should never aim for fame but for success, but success shouldn't be measured by money nor awards but by the sense of fulfillment you have in you, as well as your contributions to the people around you or society.
I'm sorry for being stubborn at times. Oftentimes my pride stops me from saying sorry but I want you guys to know that whenever I'm throwing a fit, I'm well aware that you guys will always be right and that only time will make me realize that you are only doing what's best for me.
Thank you for reminding me to value everything that we have and to make the most out of what God has given me. Yes, you've named me Ms.Complain (LOL) but really, I thank the Lord everyday for a lot of things. Without you guys, I wouldn't have had the strength to keep pushing myself (especially in school).
Now I'm nervous- how can I ever endure what you guys have been through? I'm scared to have a daughter now! HAHA!
Dad- I have you to thank for my analytical skills, especially in Math, business, dealing with people and for not letting my emotions take over my mind. I appreciate your effort to talk to me every morning over breakfast.
Mom- thank you for sharing with me your love for music. Thank you for teaching me to be compassionate, patient and loving.
I love you guys for sharing with me your thoughts on life and for being SO COOL about everything. I know not everyone can get that from their parents on a daily basis. Because of you guys, I've kept a positive outlook on life and I've learned to ward off all forms of negativity that can possibly harm my sanity! I love you guys for working so hard, and for reaching out to us when we need you. Thank you for teaching us to not only strive to be book smart, but street smart as well.
Thank you for being patient with me and for understanding that my level of maturity will always be lower than yours! HAHA! Geeks unite!!!
Rizza- can't wait to partake in this musical journey with you! It's always been a dream of mine to share my love for singing and music to others, but I've always been too terrified to do it alone. I can't imagine working with other people, so I'm really really happy that I get to experience it with you! It will be a test for sure, but know that I'm always here for you, my baby sister! You are so talented, and I'm so glad that you're willing to make me sing your songs with you. ILY!
Joey- thank you for being such a good baby brother! Stay the same, please. I admire you for always trying to be kind to others. Even if the girls bully you! I find it cute, but pity you at the same time. :)) Study hard like your sisters! LOL.
Friends in NY/Maryland/San Francisco
Inez family- Thank you for having me and mum in your home!!! We had a blast. Thank you so much for the hospitality! You guys will always be our neighbors. :))
Tita Yvette, Tito Cromwell, Cianna and Carlos- our quick trip to Maryland was so memorable! Can't wait to see you guys this 2011!
Angelie- Only got to spend a couple of minutes catching up with you but it was fun! Can't wait til you visit Cebu. Here's to us being successful Interior Designers in the future! :)
Holly- Best SF tour guide ever! Thanks for the hospitality!!! San Francisco's one of my fave destinations now. Hopefully I can visit again and spend more time there. I know I didn't get to try out a lotta things yet!
Philip- BROTHER!!!! Thank you for driving to SF to see me! Miss you so much, dude! And yay, I feel special for being the first batchmate you've met up with outside the Philippines. :D
Oh my goodness we still don't have a decent pic together. :)) Anyways...
One of the highlights of the year... Raleene finally gets a boyf! LOL. Thankful that I met you- someone who'll never fail to crack me up, such a gentleman, one who can keep up with my spontaneity, put up with my immaturity and understand my lack of sense of romance. Yes, I act like a boy and thank you for understanding that I'm not like most girls when it comes to relationships- but I believe we create a perfect balance :)
Thank you for teaching me the ultimate definition of love, which is self-forgetfulness. In less than a year you've given me tons of things to reminisce on. I have more reasons to laugh and smile whenever I'm alone (and yes people think I'm crazy but whatever, haha!). The distance is a test but I'm sure it will only help strengthen this relationship and help the both of us grow more. You quickly became a confidant, my best friend. Everything was random, unplanned, but beautiful. ILY :)
HERE'S TO 2010!!!
**To those who've subscribed to my blog /sites, thank you for taking time to comment and for sending me your e-mails. This blog site's less than a year old but I've gained so many friends through this. Thank you for letting me share to you my love for art, the world, photography and life :) Hope you have a wonderful year ahead of you. God bless you all!