Monday, February 3, 2014

my birthday + Harrison & Rizbelle's wedding

I went a little mental about turning a year older this year. I decided not to celebrate since I've been extremely anxious about something for the past month now and I feel like I can't really celebrate until I get my results. I also decided to hide my birthday on Facebook to see how many people would really remember. A bit unfair since I'm the one who NEVER remembers anyone's birthday (I even forget my mum's sometimes) and with the amount of "friends" you can have nowadays, how does one really keep track? 
The social experiment failed a bit since I decided to greet my father (we share the same birthday) and I had to post a couple of blog-related gifts and giveaways, but it did prove that nobody really knew my real birthdate without the help of Facebook. 
As with any occasion I tell my friends to stop giving me gifts. It's cards and letters that prove to be the most meaningful to me. I wanted to share with you one of the letters my friends sent me for my birthday since I think we can all take something from it--
Ral! Belated Happy Birthday!!
I wanted to send you this birthday message sooner, but it had to be perfect! I just wanted to share something that captures how i've been feeling recently and how perhaps you can apply since you're thinking of moving to Boston.
An old lover of mine once asked me 'What if your dreams and your fears existed in the same place, would you still go there?'
I must admit, at the time I always thought 'Surely you can pursue your dreams without having to face your fears!' I mean, why put ourselves through that? But as the days go by and my fate is unraveling itself, especially since I will eventually have to leave the comfort of the academia life that i've gotten so used to, I realize nothing is as scary as chasing after your dreams. There is great truth to this; If the thought of pursuing your dreams doesn't keep you up once in a while, then you haven't been shooting for the stars.
That being said, how do we prepare ourselves? How do we face the fears that come with pursuing our dreams? Well I thought about the question more, and realized we need more than just a pat in the back; we need a change in perspective. Not necessarily a perspective i'm asking you to adopt, but perhaps a perspective to get you thinking.
You see, to the universe, nothing really matters. Not family, not relationships, not work. Nothing - your birth is as pointless as your life as well as your death. The universe doesn't give a damn about how you live your life.
...and that's the beauty of it. Because the world around us is inconsequential, the only purpose to your life is the purpose you choose for yourself. The only actions worth pursuing are the actions you want to pursue. That is the ticket to a free spirit, YOUR free spirit, and whenever I think of a free spirit, you are one of the few that come to mind.
So go to that place where your fears and your dreams exist, not many people do. The universe would not punish you for it, and the only punishment that will come is the regret of not daring to dream bigger and the realization that you were more than capable to tackle your fears.
Anyway, I’ll keep it short, I hope you know i'm rooting for you and your decision to move here. I miss hanging out with you and I apologize we didn't get to see each other last winter break, but I know our paths will cross sometime again soon. Until then, may you have many more birthdays! The world is a brighter place with you in it, despite all the black you wear, so squeeze out as many years as you can. 

I'm thankful for friends who can put into words a lot of the things that bother me about life. In the end you are accountable for everything that happens to you, but it makes you feel loads better when you have people in your circle to encourage you to take risks and really put everything you've got into the things you're doing when uncertainties are holding you back.

Apart from choosing to have an uneventful birthday, I flew to Cebu over the weekend to be a bridesmaid at Rizbelle and Harrison's wedding. Much has been said about the rare sighting of me wearing pink and I'm pretty sure it's the first and last time this year. It was an intimate, sweet wedding and I don't think my good friend Rizbelle would've planned it any other way. Honoured to have been asked to be part of the entourage and I am genuinely happy two good souls found each other and chose the right path for the next chapter in life. We need more love stories like theirs.

Congrats again, you two!

1 comment:

Unknown said...

Such beautiful flowers. I really like the bridesmaids dresses. Its nothing like I've ever seen. :) Thanks for sharing the photos with us.

Maggie A