shoes- Nike LunarElite City Pack, bag- Balenciaga, watch- Armani, coat and cap- Zara, dress (worn as top)- American Apparel, jeans- 7 for all Mankind
You know what I've been feeling lately?
Yes, I have so much to be thankful for... but as much as I hide most of my work from everyone online, I know I flaunt enough for people to think that I'm living a good life- a bit of truth into it but I know I put the work in. And it's true, you reap what you sow but it's never instant gratification.
I've battled enough bouts of sadness through the past couple of years but there's a huge pressure to be happy especially since I appear to have all the reasons to be content and happy. I try my best and there are parts of my life that aren't so ironed out but I work with what I have. I have enough faith to do better things and feel safe about my life decisions.
There's always a huge pressure from inside me. People expect you to be a lot of things but the only thing that really matters is how you reach your own standards for yourself (if you have any).
So do I feel like I'm moving forward? Definitely. I had 2 months of self-doubt, of trying my hardest to keep from falling into that box of sadness. I chose to move on and I chose to notice what I had that others didn't. I know better than to wallow in self-pity. I acted on this grey area and hoped for the best.
I'm moving forward in my career by taking up my masters in my dream city. A big deal for me but I have so much to prove and work on yet again. What are my dreams? I don't know, but I do know that I have a bigger calling. Cliche as others may think, I need to be able to serve others and provide opportunities for others as how others have given me the opportunity to do so much. The future is always scary but it makes me even more nervous if my plans don't shake me.
Every little thing in life leads to something bigger if you just allow it to. I'm not focused every minute of my life but I try to. I have fun for a reason, I get away for a reason. Do I overthink things? We all do. But we can choose the trajectory of our thoughts. I'm lucky I can now choose who and where to channel all my energy towards. A bit selfish but I believe everyone is.
Never expect anything from anyone except yourself. That is the key to success and happiness.
Your thoughts determine your life experiences. Keep your mind off petty things and focus on what you can do to improve yourself. Simple, really. Life is simple but never easy.